This has been such a crazy week. Not only was it college finals week, but I also had multiple songs to learn for worship, and I got sick for multiple days. Now, the craziest stuff is done, and I'm pretty much all set! However, I still have multiple speeches I need to prepare. One of these speeches is for at graduation.
Yup. I'm the valedictorian at my school. And for some reason, even though I only have 31 students in my graduating class, I have to speak at the graduation ceremony of 5 schools. It's a huge event, and it has been hanging over my head for a while now that I have to speak there. It's really scary!
I have a few ideas of things that I can say, but I haven't put it all together yet. I will hopefully be able to get a start this weekend, but I have just been so busy up till now that I haven't even had time to start it.
If I was in this situation a year ago, I would be on the verge of absolute terror. A year ago, I had only had to speak in front of people for an assignment once in my entire life, and I'd be going from that to speaking in front of half of the city. But because I have been volunteering at Campus Life, and I've had multiple chances to practice my speaking, the nervousness has rescinded considerably! The experience has given me confidence, and I'm so grateful for that.
And I think this is kind of what I'm going to be speaking about at graduation: doing things that scare you! I hated public speaking, and was terrified of it. Now that I've done it a few times, I've become much better and more confident. Doing scary things can be hard at the time, but it can bring about SO much growth in you!
I don't know all the details of what I'm going to be speaking about, but this will likely be part of it. I have a whole month about it and prepare it, so we will see! But I will definitely be writing about the experience after it's all over.
And, yes, the experience of speaking has helped me. But another thing that has really helped me to become less nervous is trusting in God. I've written about this before, but I have struggled a lot with work in the past. Lately, God has been showing me that this fear is a lack of trust in Him. I've been starting to give up these fears to Him, and he has taken them away from me!
Trusting in God to supply me with what I need instead of trying to do it all myself has made SUCH a difference in my life. It's made me much happier, now that I don't spend so much time worrying about things I can't control! And I thank God for that all the time: that he is always working in my life, and taking care of the things that I can't. Even though I really don't want to speak at this event, I know that God has a reason for it, and I know that whatever his plan is, it will happen! I can't mess it up. So I'm letting His will be done.