But then I realized, I've had thoughts like these before with my other online content. And then I've been disappointed by how many people responded or watched/read it. I set the expectations way too highly for myself and I can't live up to them. Maybe someday it could happen, but my lack of patience shows up very quickly when I post something and people don't see it.
Patience is probably the quality that I have the least of, especially with myself. Like I said, my expectations for myself are very high, and even if I only do slightly worse than I expected, I get kind of upset. Patience is something that I need a lot more of! I get impatient with myself in so many ways: when I can't learn a new skill as quickly as I think I should, when I post a YouTube video and it doesn't get a lot of views, when I forget things (which happens very often, unfortunately)... So many trivial things that I worry too much about!
So this week, I'm asking God to give me patience. Patience for family, patience for others, but also patience for myself. While high standards are good, it can also make me depressed sometimes because I feel like my hard work is going nowhere. But like many things in life, I just have to wait. If it is meant to be, it will happen.
"Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly." -Proverbs 14:29
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." -Ephesians 4:2